A row of beautiful palm trees on the beach, swaying in the wind.
One rises much taller than the rest - standing alone against the beautiful Caribbean sky.
Every once in awhile lately, I feel like that tree.
I'm surrounded by people who care about me, an amazing career that I've been creating for more than 20 years, and a beautiful home that is all mine.
But somehow I still feel like I am standing alone, forging my way through this life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be on my own two feet, completely self-sufficient and able to support myself and my boys.
I'm also so very proud of the two young men that they are becoming and the fact that they are growing to be so independent that they hardly need me anymore.
But damn it gets lonely sometimes.
I know how that palm tree feels, blowing in the wind, no one next to me to lean against when it pushes too hard.
Writing this blog helps.
Hanging out with my family helps.
And having amazing friends who build me up and make me feel strong and confident (even when I really don't) helps.
It feels a tiny bit blasphemous to even write that I'm lonely, when I have so many blessings in my life.
But I write about this because I'm sure that I'm not the only successful single woman (or man) who feels this way from time to time. Especially as I grow older and contemplate life alone in this big house once the boys move out.
So I'm letting myself process that loneliness just a bit this morning. Reflecting on what it means and what I can do about it.
As I venture into the first full week of the New Year, I'm resolving to find ways to rise above it.
I'm going to travel, get out and meet new people, maybe learn how to speak Spanish fluently again.
I'll find ways to do more of the things that bring me joy and focus less on the fact that I'm doing many of them alone.
They say good things happen to those who wait. And that they happen when you least expect them. (Insert whichever other cliche applies here).
So I'll keep waiting and try to stop expecting them to happen.
And I'll rise above it. Just like that palm tree.
Here's to a new chapter - there's a blank page just waiting for me to start writing it.
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