Sorry...Not Sorry

I've been trying to be more conscious of the words I have been using lately.

I'm sitting on this little patio at the hotel we're staying at this weekend. Enjoying the beautiful weather, writing and reflecting.

I've realized that I tend to use the words "I'm sorry" much more often than I actually should.

I catch myself apologizing for things that aren't actually the result of something I did wrong.

They are simply differences in the way I think, or things completely outside of my control.

Here are a few examples:

• I'm sorry I'm late, got stuck in traffic.

• I'm sorry that I couldn't take your call because I was making dinner.

• I'm sorry that I have to take time off of work to take my son to his doctor appointment.

• I'm sorry that I don't see things exactly the same way as you do, or my choices are different than yours.

What the heck? Seriously?

I'm not sorry for those things.

Those are things that happened that may not be convenient, things that make others uncomfortable sometimes, but not things that actually warrant an apology.

I think we are taught that saying I'm sorry is the appropriate response. That if you don't, you are basically telling people you don't care about them.

But that's not at all true.

We can show others we care without using the word sorry. We shouldn't have to apologize for being who we are, or for the things that we need to do to take care of our families.

And especially not for the things that happen to us that are outside of our control.

Instead of saying "I'm sorry," how about we try saying “Thank you.”

Thank you for understanding that I got stuck in traffic. Let's get this meeting started and be as efficient as we can with the time we have left.

Thank you for understanding that my children are important and I need a few hours off to take them to appointments. How can I adjust so we can still get that work done?

Thank you for appreciating that I think differently than you and still caring enough to support me and maintain our friendship.

Thank you for waiting for me to finish dinner with my family before I could call back.

See? Not so hard to do that, is it?

When we say sorry for things that don't really require an apology, it can make us feel like less than who we are. It undermines our confidence and affects our ability to prioritize ourselves and our families.

So I'm going to stop saying I'm sorry, unless I truly do something wrong. In those cases, I do believe it's important to use that word and make things right.

But outside of those times, I'm not going to be sorry. I'm going to be thankful.

For everyone around me recognizing that I'm human. And appreciating that sometimes we don't always think the same way. And that life happens.

Thanks for understanding 🧡

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