I've never been very coordinated.
I pretty much suck at sports.
The one time I joined the volleyball team in middle school I got laughed off the court more times than I can count.
That C I got in gym my senior year was what kept me from being first in my class instead of third. (Or at least that's the story as I remember it).
I have to walk on the right side of people because I sometimes drift to the right when I talk and run into them otherwise.
It's a good thing I don't define myself by how well I play sports, or even how coordinated I am!
Sometimes my lack of balance can cause a problem for me, though.
When things feel out of balance in my life, I try to reach for something to steady myself.
This year, the things I've reached for that would typically steady me haven't felt very solid.
My boys' health
My steady job
My ability to always find the positive in life
Cue 2020 and the sh*t show of a year this has been.
All three of these are fluid and squishy now. It's been a real struggle to maintain any sort of balance this year.
I know many of you feel it too - maybe ALL of you.
Everywhere I turn, we are being rocked off our foundations.
One thing after another is happening, a constant barrage of challenges and complicated emotions.
I believe that it's becoming a vicious cycle - the harder life gets, the more hard stuff happens. The vibes we send out are what comes back to us.
This is why, no matter what, even when I don't feel it, I still try to send positive messages out into the world.
We have to find a way to regain our balance.
To find that sweet spot between holding on and letting go.
Like a tree shedding its leaves in the fall, we need to let go of the things that no longer serve us, that are here only for a season.
And we need to hold on to the good things that are buried underneath.
They are still there. We just can't see them as clearly anymore.
We have to find it in ourselves to look harder this year. To spend more time breathing and reflecting and standing strong in the knowledge that this too shall pass.
We will regain balance.
Even those of us like me who weren't very coordinated to begin with.
It's just a matter of time.
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