Do you know what your core values are?
The foundation on which you stand?
I thought I did.
Until I went through a workshop a few months ago where we talked about what it really means to know and live into your core values.
I used to tell people my core values were: honesty, integrity, reliability, trust and compassion.
Those are great in concept.
But when you look at life and you think about all parts of it, what do those words really mean?
Yes, they are character traits. Yes, they are important and great building blocks.
But they don't necessarily inspire action. They don't tell people who you are and how you embody them.
I learned a lot in that workshop. And I came out of it with a more accurate representation of my core values and how they play out in my life.
I reflect them now in actionable phrases.
They still represent those character traits I most respect and aspire to have.
But they also show the world what I will do to live into them.
Show Up
This one is probably the most important one for me. It speaks to being reliable, trustworthy and dependable. All really important things that I didn't always see played out by the people around me in my life.
When I say I'm going to be somewhere, I'm there. And usually five minutes early.
If you ask me to do something and I commit to it, you better believe it's going to get done.
I expect the same from others. It's just who I am.
This also means showing up for myself too, when I make commitments to my own personal growth and goals.
I will always try to bring my authentic self to everything I say and do. I am not afraid to do hard things and put myself out there.
Reflecting on this also made me realize that I was letting my fear of what other people think hold me back from taking the steps to write my story.
I finally was able to jump that hurdle and I published my first book on the last day of 2020.
In what was probably the toughest year of my life. And the most life-changing.
Be Accountable
Personal accountability. In my opinion, this is one of the most important things we can instill in our children, and model for the world.
When I make a mistake, I own it.
If I don't have money in the bank to pay my bills because I chose to spend it on things I don't really need, it's not someone else's fault.
If something in my house breaks and I need to get it repaired, I own that too. I own figuring out how to get it fixed. I own calling a repair service or asking a family member to help me.
Or I own figuring out how to do it myself.
Being accountable doesn't mean we never ask for help.
But it does mean that we take responsibility for our actions and accept that we are the ones who have to figure out how to solve the problem.
Alternatively, we should own the good things that we've manifested in our lives too. Be proud of what we've done and the good choices we have made.
It goes both ways.
Communicate Authentically
The way I communicate with my boys is different than the way I communicate with other people in my family. Which is also different from the way I communicate with my friends and my coworkers.
But no matter the approach I am taking for my specific audience, I'm bringing my real self. And communicating authentically.
What does this look like in real life?
Always saying what I mean - beating around the bush doesn't get you anywhere
Being brave enough to let people know when something hurts (or goes against my core values)
Bringing empathy to every communication
The real, authentic me tries to understand where other people are coming from in every conversation. Even with my teenage boys (although this is harder with them than anyone else!).
This approach shows people that I care, that I can be humble, and that I'm real.
Live in Gratitude
There is always, ALWAYS, something to be grateful for - even if some days it's simply the fact that you are alive.
I choose to find the good things in every day. To try to see the positive in all situations and find the things that make me smile.
Your brain is a muscle. It learns from how you flex it and feeds off of what you put into it.
Make your brain a grateful place - the gratitude will bring you joy.
Embrace the Stillness
Taking time to just sit in the quiet and think is one of my favorite things. I make sure I do this at least once a week. It gives me time to rest, recharge and reset.
We can get so caught up in the day to day and the hustle of life that we don't stop to think and reflect.
I know this isn't easy if you have little ones around - I definitely didn't have much time to embrace the stillness when my boys were little.
But even if it's just 5 minutes a day before you fall asleep, or a 1/2 hour a week early on a Sunday morning, make the time.
Embrace the stillness, hear the silence. Really hear it.
You'll find your best self there.
Do you know what your core values are?
Chances are, you haven't really taken the time to think about them.
Chances are you aren't living in a way that is true to what you value.
Knowing them can make a huge difference in your life.
It can highlight areas where you aren't living into them and you might need to make some changes. You know, those areas where you feel anxious and out of your comfort zone, but you can't pinpoint why?
And it can show you where you are succeeding and being most true to who you are and what you value. These are the areas where you feel on point, happy, purposeful.
Ultimately, it's your choice whether you do the work to understand what your core values are and how you live into them.
But I encourage you to do it.
Figure out what you stand for and what your non-negotiables are.
Live your most balanced, purposeful life.
You get to write your own story. Don't let anyone else hold the pen.
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