My 4-year-old niece teaches me something new every time she comes over to spend the night.
Last night, it was that you can find smiley faces in lots of places you don't expect.
Including in the cup of hot cocoa I made for her.
Sure enough, there was one (look closely).
There was also wonder in the fact that the cat likes to drink water, but doesn't like to get sprayed with it or take a bath.
And it was so incredibly funny to her when furry, lovable old Grover said, "Did you know that you are very strong?" in the book she wants me to always read.
Ah, to be that young again. Full of curiosity and energy and wonder.
There's always something that makes her smile and laugh.
Always something.
Isn't that the truth?
Four days ago, my mother passed away.
Later that same morning, I received final confirmation that all of the paperwork went through for my new job. After 10 months of being unemployed.
One chapter of life closing.
One just beginning.
It's been an interesting span of emotions over the past few days.
The relationship with my mom was complicated. I won't go into detail here, but she hadn't been well in a very long time. Her passing was a blessing in many ways, and I do believe she is finally at peace.
I'm sad for the things that could have been. For the childhood that my brothers and I didn't have and the life that she could have had if circumstances had been different. But I'm processing that and grateful that I was able to forgive and say my goodbyes before she passed.
I'm excited and relieved to be starting a new job soon. To be productive on a daily basis again and have the financial security I need to provide for my children and keep my home.
And I'm grateful that my new role will be a good fit for my skillset and aligns well with work that I am passionate about.
Sad.
Relieved.
Excited.
Nostalgic.
The emotions come in waves.
And in the midst of those waves, life keeps happening.
The laundry room sink plugs up.
I drop a glass candle in the driveway and it shatters.
The crud on the bottom of the oven fills the house with smoke when I'm preheating it.
Always something to fix or to clean up.
My son asks me to proof his essay - it's insightful and amazing and makes me proud.
I find photos of life from twenty years ago that I forgot I had and they make me smile.
I donate mom's clothes to the new thrift store that raises money to support people with mental illness and they tell me how much it will help.
Always something to make me smile and reflect.
I guess that's just the circle of life.
There's always something good happening, and more often than not, something challenging happening at the same time.
I've said it more than a few times before, but it's worth repeating.
Life is imperfect, it's messy and bumpy and scary.
But it's beautiful and wonderful at the same time.
I've learned that the best way for us to live it is to find the good in everything.
Even if we have to dig deep.
There's always something.
I promise.
Comments