All In

My family gets together occasionally to play poker. Texas Hold'em to be more specific.

We're not terrible at it, but definitely not World Series of Poker caliber either.

Generally there are at least 10 of us playing, sometimes a few more. And now that our kids are getting older, more of them play too.

I don't really remember when we first started getting together to play. I know our kids were pretty little back then, so must have been at least 10 years ago.

But those nights around the table with poker chips in front of me are now some of my most treasured memories.

Like the night I beat my big brother by getting a full house with the river card. I stayed in with a Jack/Six (off-suited). That was an awful way to win, I'll admit that now, but it was fun when it was happening. That's still a standing joke when we get together.

Or the night we played at my little brother's house on Halloween and everyone was in costume. Hard to keep a straight face when there are grown men in superhero tights and a blond wig with pigtails sitting across from you.

Or how about the time that we played an entire poker tournament and realized at the end that somehow there were one too many Kings in play? Oops!

Even now, just writing about it, makes me smile.

I have a terrible poker face. And I tend to start playing with my chips before my turn when I know I have a good hand and I'm going to place a bet. My whole family knows my tells.

And I wonder why I hardly win...

Sometimes I get lucky though.

I love the anticipation when I think I have the winning hand.

The struggle to wait for the other players to place their bets before I can take my turn.

The rush I get when I push the chips forward and loudly declare, "I'm ALL IN."

My family often laughs at how excited I am. Which makes me laugh. And sometimes I snort when I laugh (doesn't everybody?) so that makes them laugh harder.

Every once in awhile it works in my favor and I win the game. But most times I didn't count on that flush that my aunt or cousin had that takes out my large straight.

I try to lose graciously.

And honestly, it can be as much (or even more) fun just sitting at the table watching the rest of the game play out and laughing and just enjoying being there.

After all, it's only a $5 buy-in for a whole night of entertainment.

I'm all in with these people in life too, not just at the poker table.

They are made up of mostly family, but also a few close friends who have become family.

People who know a whole lot of dysfunctional things about my life. They've seen me at my best and my worst and still want me around.

People I admire for their strength and perseverance. And for their ability to work through challenge and adversity and come out stronger on the other side.

People that I've laughed with, cried with and gone on more adventures with than I can even count anymore.

I can't say enough how "all in" I truly am with this crew.

I hope all of you reading this have a support system like I do. A crew that builds you up, that helps you feel more centered when life takes you off balance.

We're overdue for a poker game, come to think of it.

Time to start that group chat and get one scheduled.

Go all in on something today friends.

Lay all your cards on the table.

You might just end up with the winning hand.