A faded white button with red and blue letters.
About the size of a half dollar coin.
When I found it in a box full of pictures the other day, it made me pause.
Funny how sometimes the little things can bring back the biggest memories.
This button belonged to my dad.
When my brother and I were young, he'd always wear it on his favorite jean jacket.
Surrounded by pins and patches that commemorated Dad's love for riding motorcycles and the friends he had made on his journey.
The button simply read: "Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids."
It was a running joke with us whenever we'd see him. He'd pull up in his pickup truck to take us to his place on his weekends and we'd groan when he stepped out wearing that jacket and that button.
As we grew up and had families of our own, we carried that joke with us too. My boys, now teenagers, are the ones who groan when I say it.
Dad passed away more than ten years ago now.
His jean jacket is hanging up in my coat closet. It always makes me smile.
I can see him wearing it, and hear him laughing.
When I found the pin the other day in a box of old pictures, I put it back on the jacket.
That's where it belongs.
Seeing the white of the button contrast with the faded blue denim made my heart happy.
And it made me think. When it comes to family, there is a certain amount of truth that our traits can be hereditary.
But I believe that it goes both ways.
We gain experience and knowledge from what we learn from our parents.
Our parents gain experience and knowledge from what they learn from us.
And for those of us who have kids of our own, we learn from our children as we fumble our way through the roller coaster ride of parenting too.
It's an infinite loop.
The trick is to turn what we learn into stepping stones, not roadblocks. And to learn from life both by modeling behavior we like and doing the opposite of the behavior we don't.
None of us are perfect. Certainly not as parents.
And definitely not as children.
We mess up, we make mistakes, we say the wrong things at the wrong times.
That's part of the human condition.
And yes, sometimes the tough parts of life make us want to tear our hair out. Or feel like we are going to literally go insane.
I think that's why Dad always found that button so funny.
Raising kids can make you feel like you are a little off kilter sometimes.
So can being a kid.
I think the key is to remember that we're all just figuring it out as we go.
There isn't one "right" way for us to navigate life. And certainly no guidebook to fall back on when we stumble and lose our footing.
So let's all try to inherit the best parts of the people around us.
Find the learnings and hold on to the experiences that make us strong and proud.
And if we go a little insane along the way, so be it.
At least we'll be in it together.
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