This week was tough. I mean REALLY tough. There were a few days when I just wanted to throw up my hands and curl into a ball and cry. A couple times I even did.
It wasn't even one big thing that happened. It was a series of little things. And constant, persistent chaos that I couldn't rise above to find any peace in my brain.
We're leading up to a critical deadline at work and things are at a frenetic pace. Everything is a fire drill. It's hard to work like that. I can't think clearly and don't feel like I'm making the best decisions.
The gutters on my new house had been filled with ice the past few weeks, so I had water in my basement. At my NEW house. Cue the fear that I can't do this, and what the heck was I thinking trying to own a house all by myself.
I ordered new furniture and just wanted to get my office in order. Both my new desk and the lateral file came with missing pieces. They had great customer service and are shipping me new stuff, but it was one more thing in an already crazy week.
To top it all off, my oldest son got his temps this week. And I think if I'm truthful with myself, that might be the thing that's underlying much of the stress I felt this week.
Only three more years and he's going to be off to college. Have I done my best work as his mother to prepare him for the real world?
Sometimes I wonder, especially on the days when I feel like the real world is too much for me.
But then there were the bright spots in my week:
Ryder drove me home from the DMV on Friday and he did a great job. Which went a long way to calm my nerves. And he actually listened to my advice while he was driving. Score one for mom!
Jacob got a blue ribbon at his Forensics meet on Saturday. He's going on to the state tournament in April. So proud of this kid!
We actually figured out and solved a few issues at work for our major project. Small wins, but wins nonetheless.
I got to spend some quality time with my best friend and her family on Friday night. And also with my brother and others I love on Saturday night.
When I sit back and take the time to reflect on my crazy week, I realize that there's one key thing that got me through it.
Starting every day with a positive thought.
Each morning when I wake up, I find a positive quote and post it on my Facebook page.
It's so simple, yet it has made a huge difference in my life.
Just reading those positive quotes puts my mind in a better place. It's a habit now and it's transformed my ability to rise above the chaos.
Yes, I have days where I scream and cry and yell at the injustice in the world. It's important to process those emotions. But after I do that, I can logically think about my life and remember that I've survived worse.
I'll make it through the crappy weeks where every day seems like too much. Because I know I can.
I would encourage all of you to try it too. You don't have to post anything on social media or even share it with your friends. Just take a few minutes each morning to think about something positive.
Make a list of the people and things in your life that make you happy.
Remember something that you've done that you are really proud of and that reflects your amazing unique abilities.
I know it sounds cliche, but the power of positive thinking is a real thing. And there's beauty in the chaos if you look hard enough.
It teaches you how to be resilient and shows you how strong you really are. But you have to put in the mental energy to rise above it.
There are going to be weeks like this.
But then there are going to be weeks that are amazing.
I'm due for an amazing week.
And If I put my mind to it, I'm pretty sure I can make it happen.