This week I definitely felt like that bug on the windshield. I was desperately trying to keep things together, flailing about as the winds of struggle and change threatened to carry me away.
New projects came at me every day at work, I was faced with tight deadlines and enormous pressure to get things just right, home life was chaotic, and then the weekend culminated in a cold, wet, rainy camping trip.
All of this proved too much for me.
It's Sunday night and I am still trying to calm my brain and just relax. I've been a bundle of nerves today, close to tears, feeling like I'm failing at life. It's been awhile since I've had a week like this.
And the funny part is, I know better than to let this all overwhelm me.
I know that this week is not typical.
I know that my issues are very minor in the grand scheme of life.
I know that I am doing a better job keeping it together than I realize.
I know that I will survive.
But for a few hours, I need to let myself feel the overwhelm, process the emotion and work my way out of it.
I come full circle to take the advice that I so often give others.
"Even during the tough times, there are so many things to be grateful for. Sometimes, you just have to look hard enough to find them."
I push myself to see beyond all of the things this week that are hurting my brain and causing me frustration.
I woke up every day healthy and physically able to face the day ahead of me.
An amazing friend graciously offered to pick Ryder up from football practice when I texted that I was running late from work.
A major project at work successfully launched, after months of blood, sweat and tears by a great team of people.
I got to spend two days camping with my boys and family that I love - and the mosquitoes weren't out!
And I reflect on one specific moment from this morning.
As Jacob and I were laying on the partially deflated, damp air mattress, under a wet sleeping bag, I noticed a leaf that was stuck on the screen above us. It was shaped like a heart and surrounded by raindrops.
I was cold and crabby and annoyed at life, but I asked Jacob to take a picture of it anyway. I knew that when I had a chance to be silent and think, I would reflect on that moment and find the positive in it.
That tiny leaf, surrounded by raindrops from heaven, represents the simple beauty of this imperfectly perfect life.
Sometimes the most beautiful moments are hiding in the very things that cause us to feel frustrated and overwhelmed.
You just have to look hard enough to find them.