It's exhausting sometimes wondering if I am doing things the "right" way, living up to the expectations of society. Everyone has an opinion, and most will offer it even if you don't ask for it.
How long do I have to breastfeed to be a good mother? How old is too old to not be potty-trained? What time should I put my kids to bed? How closely should I know their friends? How often should I talk to their teachers? Do I need to look at every single piece of their homework? What type of person should I date? How many hours a week should I work?
Yikes! Stop the madness already!
Every single one of us is different, unique in so many ways. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and are going through struggles that most of the world will never see. What works for me, may not work for you, and I should never try to force you or guilt you into being just like me or doing things exactly the same way.
Things have changed so much since I was growing up. I don't remember my mom and dad looking over my shoulder while I did homework, or following me around while I biked around town with my friends. They didn't get a daily recap from my teachers with a positive or negative score for every little thing that I did at school.
Some days, it's almost too much.
I had so much more freedom than kids do today and that forced me to think more carefully about what I did. Granted, I maybe didn't have quite enough parental supervision, but I had to learn how to make my own decisions and deal with how they affected my life from a pretty young age. And I'm much better for it than I think I would have been with someone constantly in my ear telling me how I should do things.
The thing is, after many years of constantly second-guessing my decisions, I'm finally learning that we are ALL right. Every one of our opinions is valid. But they don't apply to everyone; each unique situation needs a different approach. And we have to be confident and happy in the approach that we take, as long as it continues to help us grow as parents and human beings.
I love and respect all of the opinions/advice that I have been given in my 42 years on this earth. I've taken many of them to heart and put my own personal spin on them. Others I've filed away or recycled, depending on if I think they will ever apply to me.
It wasn't easy to get to this place, and I still have sleepless nights after a tough parenting or discipline decision. But, overall, the more confident I am in realizing that my opinion is the one that really matters, the happier I am becoming.